Whenever you meet people, you change them like they change you. You grow because of the shared experiences and new perspectives on life. Seeing everything with fresh eyes, over and over again as you talk to different people. Some leave big impressions, like a pair of new glasses you can't take off. They take you to places inside and outside of yourself you've never explored before. It can be a journey of love, fear of the unknown and relief when you discover things you can embrace within yourself. It can be the ultimate slap in the face you needed to get off your ass and start fulfilling your life's goal right then and there.
I've always believed there is a mission, a reason why you're on this planet. It's been a hell of a ride to figure out what it was exactly and I'm sure I will be looking for the answer the rest of my life. I've always felt a tiny bit of envy meeting people who've got it all planned, like a list of things to do and ticking them off as they go. Study journalism, become a journalist, get a wife and kids, build a nice house and maybe even show your face on tv and be famous. I started with the same idea, but my path took a left turn when I planned on going straight to ticking boxes.
The list had to be edited, erased, changed eight times a day to keep up with where I thought I was going. The need to be traveling when I finally created a nest, the longing for a home while being on the road. The urge to book a ticket to the other end of the world when friends started getting married and having children. Keep moving to find peace of mind. Traveling as a way to find my ultimate life goal. Realising cliche quotes like 'it's not about the destination, but the journey' are true.
I talked and listened to many people in all kinds of languages, with or without words, collecting stories in my backpack. I did the whole yoga and meditation, reading spiritual books until I started sounding like one. I tried to find routines while traveling, just to journey to new places as soon as I found myself stuck in one. The endless road, the same questions asked, the same vague answers given.
I travel by myself often, yet I'm never alone. I choose to surround myself with people all day every day to learn and share. It's easy to get distracted when friends are around. So the goal searching gets postponed. And I love postponing. One of my many skills!
Until I booked a ticket to Bali, planning to rent a beach shack and be by myself to write, snorkel and drink fresh coconuts. Instead I took another left turn and ended up in a friend's house, met beautiful people, booked a flight out but decided to miss it, stay and get trapped in the Balinese rabbit hole of easy living. I met people who made such a big impression on me, it's hard to leave the bubble of inspiration I'm currently living in.
The night in Ubud filled with poetry, French chansons and conversations left me beaming with energy. I had a strange but comfortable feeling of coming home, seeing possibilities and grabbing them. Squeezing life like lemon juice and getting everything out of it, pulp and all. My friend must have noticed and decided to put my cards on the table. I've never had a tarot reading before as I thought it would come my way when the time was right. Plus there are probably a lot of dodgy future tellers out there, who take a better look at your wallet than at their crystal ball.
I was ready for anything. Good and bad, bring it on. He talked about my many passions, that the time has come to choose one and go for it. Dedicate life to it, share it, get rid of all distractions and insecurities and just go. Right now. No time to waste. The much needed slap in the face.
So I wrote. All night. And all the next days and nights. Finally realising this is what I have been doing my entire life, like a red thread connecting dots. It's been a part of me while traveling and at the kitchen table at home. After 26 years, it's about time I share my writing with the world. I gathered many stories along the way and wrote poetry like a mad woman.
I'm excited to announce my FIRST BOOK OF POEMS is coming out soon. Handwritten or typed, as you like. Watch this space for more information while I'm giving my all, writing until my fingers go numb and ink stains cover my face.
Thank you to everyone I shared stories with, strangers turning into friends, supporting me by smiling, talking or pushing me over my limits. Thank you endlessly for reading this blog, for your feedback and messages. You make my day. You make my life!!!
Sending love and fresh writings your way!