Can I blame the moon or daylight savings or something because my rhythm is completely out of whack. Wide awake till late, gone for a few hours then rising before the sun, dozing off realising it’s not my time yet and all of a sudden the sun is high in the sky creeping in through literally any crack it can find to get me and my crumpled face out of bed. First moments of my day trying to figure out where I am, is this still a dream?
I’ve been sleeping in different beds in different houses this week and I love it. Packing my backpack for a sleepover always feels a bit like a holiday. Changing my surroundings sharpens my senses, even if it’s just another neighbourhood or a short bike ride away. New needs new opportunities. New tunes to dance to new ideas percolating. Keeps me fresh, even when I don’t look it when I roll out of bed these days.
Some things I have rediscovered this week:
Mindfulness. I’m trying to practise meditating and reading all about it. I found an 8-week course I bought five years ago when I would have anxiety attacks. Getting zen again, feeling good.
Rummikub. Why did I ever stop playing this game? It’s so much fun even when playing with Spanish friends means you start at midnight and get so hyped up you have to keep playing until your eyelids can’t hold themselves anymore.
The absolute addiction to a good book. How it absorbs every waking moment, the story continues even when I’m not reading, in my dreams and thoughts. I’m a very slow reader so at one point I’m almost looking forward to finishing the book so I can move on with my life. Recent obsession: Isabel Allende and her House Of The Spirits trilogy. I feel like I know the characters personally so no wonder story, reality and dreams merge into one.
Morningpages. They have never really left my side but when I was working early mornings I would go days without writing. Which would make me feel utterly lost and questioning everything in life. Until I got back to the page and could breathe again. Sometimes we forget to do the things that are necessary to make us feel alive and come home to ourselves. For me, that’s writing and dancing. When I pretend these don’t exist for a while, I become a zombie doing life on automatic pilot. As soon as I put pen to paper and my limbs move freely like wet noodles, I sink back into my body with a sigh of relief: Aaahh there you are! Thought I lost ya for a second!
Funemployment. Gosh I love the time and freedom to do my own thing. Slowly figuring out my next move but most of all: soaking up the sweetness of the moment. The more I open myself up to enjoying the here and now instead of worrying about past or future things (I’m a huge worrier), the more opportunities and ideas land on my path, fulfillment I find and eagerness I feel to grow, flow and develop myself in many different ways.
Last but not least: Sex And The City is on Netflix. I’m back in my teenage bedroom giggling with my girlfriends thinking this will be us when we’re old. Ha!
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